Lost
by Nuttyginger
Summary: Angel will do anything to get his son back but Cordelia won't let him do it alone. Set after 'Sleep Tight'


Lyrics = 1. Can't remember but it was once on Dawson's Creek  
  
= 2. Cinnamon Waits For You - Nowhere Blossoms  
  
OK, this is set after 'Sleep Tight' and since I haven't seen it…Grrrr Ch4…I am making it that Wesley died and Conner has gone missing. This was meant as an insight into how Cordelia reacts to the news but it took on a life of it's own one boring day at work!!!  
  
Disclaimer: No mine…. belongs to Joss and David's and who ever they belong to!!!  
  
Summary: My take on a reality that might occur from what happened in 'Sleep Tight'  
  
Cinnamon Waits For You – Nuttyginger  
  
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Cordelia sat in the darkened office, her fingers tracing a line though the thin layer of dust. Wesley hadn't been in his office recently; he had been too busy researching the latest prophecy that the Powers had decided to throw their way. The post sat neatly in the 'In' and 'Out' trays waiting to go to Cordelia for typing. The pictures of the gang were proudly displayed on his desk corner and on top of the filing cabinet in the corner of the room. Cordelia smile fondly at the picture of the hotel with Cordelia holding a pair of scissors to cut the ribbon when they first opened it. There was one of Fred sitting in the courtyard with a book in her lap as innocent as she was. The one that broke her heart was one that was only taken three days before. It was of them all standing in the courtyard as the sunset. She was holding Conner with Angels arm around her. Fred smiled happily at the camera between Gunn and Wesley, who was looking handsome without his glasses. But they weren't looking at the camera. Conner had been blowing bubbles and giggling in Cordelias arms. They were all about to smile when Conner had looked up at Cordelia and said his first word.  
  
Mama.  
  
Cordelia felt fresh tears flow down her cheeks. Wesley would never be in another picture of them. They would never look to his wisdom when there was business to get on with. There would be no more of his little board meetings in the morning to discuss what was to be done during the day. There would be no more. He had gone the way Doyle did. There one minute and gone the next. He was gone. Connor was gone too; her son was gone, probably never to come back to her either. They had lost everything. The grief for both of her men overcame her and she slumped to the desk.  
  
A tentative knock at the office door brought her attention back to the present again. Angel stood grief stricken in the doorway. His usual straight stoic frame now slouched and defeated. He had lost his one chance at life as well as a very close friend. For a Vampire who would have to live a few more hundred years yet, didn't see the point in living anymore.  
  
"I was looking for you." He said gruffly. "I'm packing to go and find Holtz. I want my son back."  
  
Cordelia sat there in shock not knowing where to look are what to say to him. Angel stared straight at the stairs, his back to her, but didn't make a move to explain himself.  
  
All my bags are packed  
  
I'm ready to go  
  
I'm standing here outside your door  
  
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye  
  
1.1.1.1 But the dawn is breakin'  
  
This early mornin'  
  
The taxi's waitin'  
  
"What do you mean you're leaving? You can't leave now, we need you, I need you. When were you going to tell me if Wesley hadn't died?" Cordelia shouted. " What? You think that you were the only one that lost a son? I have lost one of my best friends and a little boy who I though of as a son. You wanna tell me about lose, your not the only one being punished here." Cordelia shouted.  
  
Angel turned back around to her, his face tear stained. "I can't sit here and do nothing, except the very few things I loved has gone for good. You know that I wouldn't do that Cordelia. I thought you would feel the same. Darla may have gave birth to him but you were his mother."  
  
Cordelia's anger had gone and was replaced by utter fear, clear displayed on her face. "You can't leave me. Once you are gone I have nothing left. You begged me to stay when Doyle died now I am begging you. Don't leave. We'll find another way to get Holtz."  
  
"He went through a portal Cordy, there is no other way except to hunt him down." Angel explained, fresh tears pouring down his face.  
  
"Is that what you did for me? Hunt me down. No you sent Wesley to the books and then found a way to get me back from Pylea. You can't flit from dimension to dimension at the whim of a hat. You end up in Outer Mongolia in another space and time. I can't let that happen to you. I know what you will do; you'll search for him in other dimensions and you will keep on searching until you realise you have forgot what you are searching for and when you'll give up, you forget you'll forget your humanity because Conner is your humanity. I have worked too damn hard and gone through to much pain for you to do that. I'm coming with you. You'll not do this alone. Now finish packing and grab some weapons I will be back. Someone will have to tell Gunn and Fred."  
  
"I'll do that." Angel answered gruffly, not wanting another burden to fall on Cordelia's shoulders.  
  
"Right car keys." She held out her hand as Angel reluctantly handed them to her. "I'll visit the Oracles and see if they can give us a dimension-jumping pass or something and I'll be back here in two hours." She didn't wait for an answer and just left.  
  
An Hour Later:  
  
Cordelia now stood in front of the gold and blue people Angel had called the Oracles with a larger backpack on her shoulders.  
  
"You come before us Seer?" The male asked.  
  
"My name is Cordelia. I've come here because I need your help." Cordelia laid her pack on the ground and pulled out a picture of her, Angel and Conner together. "Conner has been taken by Holtz the Vampire Hunter and we need to get Conner back."  
  
The female looked to the ceiling and looked around it, her eyes darting everywhere. "We know that the Warriors Light has gone, we feel him missing. He is not safe. This is what you need to complete your quest. Be careful Seer for you may not return to us."  
  
As soon as Cordelia picked up the leather pouch in front of her she was tossed from the chamber and back into the alcove below the post office. The pouch contained a red crystal and a Latin parchment. As she held it in her hand the crystal began to glow. 'Angels department' she muttered and slid the crystal back into the pouch.  
  
At The Hotel:  
  
Angel put down the pen and stared at the note. It had taken him longer than he thought.  
  
Dear Fred and Gunn,  
  
Cordelia and I have gone to look for Conner. We don't know when or if we will be back but I have taken care of Wesley's funeral arrangements and a man will be by on Friday to take down what has to be written on the headstone. Don't worry, it is all paid for. I have left some money in the safe in Wesley's office for you and the hotel belongs to you both until we get back. Thank-you for sticking by me when things got tough and I really mean that. You have seen the worse side of me and some of the best. Gunn you were the most able man I have had the pleasure of fighting beside and I hope that it manages to keep you out of trouble. Fred I am glad we rescued you from Pylea and I would like it if you used some of the money to go back to collage and get your degree. I know when we come back you will some high- powered physicist at NASA.  
  
I was never good at good-byes so this is a 'see you when we get back' instead.  
  
Angel  
  
It said everything he wanted to say and more. They would be fine he convinced himself. His self-doubting was disturbed by a slight thumping of soft shoes on the marble lobby.  
  
"Are you ready yet?" Cordelia shouted.  
  
Angel could do little but stare. She was wearing black trousers with a black turtleneck jumper, both hugging her curves, and her black duster was in its rightful place on her shoulders. He could just make out a newly bought gun and holster strung across her body.  
  
"Yeah, bag is in the corner and I have my weapons. He opened his duster and showed her the array of stakes and daggers; she could make out the glint of his sword behind him.  
  
Cordelia made her way over to the weapons cabinet. She pulled out the remaining stakes and hid them on her body. The sword holster was slung across her back and she placed her own broad sword in it. She didn't know what they were going to meet but they were going to be fighting it with some heavy artillery and skill. Angel wordlessly tapped her on the shoulder and nodded his head towards the door. In a blaze of darkness they left it all behind.  
  
6 years later:  
  
Cordelia landed with a perfected skill, Angel in front of her and the portal closing behind her. She stared out at the battle-scarred landscape and let out a sigh. It was always the same, either barren or and Eden of gardens.  
  
"I think we've been here before or are all the battle sites starting to look the same?" Cordelia asked.  
  
Angel stood silently beside her, looking around. He hadn't changed much, his black on black attire still the same with the same duster only now looking a little battered. Cordelia looked older, their countless battles showing in the slight lines on her face. She was still dressed in black as well but her curves now more pronounced with muscle. Her hair was short again to keep it out of her face while she was fighting. The blonde highlights weren't an accessory they could afford and looking good didn't matter to her any more.  
  
"Come on we better find a town before the sun rises and you do an impression of a walking fireball."  
  
The line was always the same but still Angel laughed. He was glad she came. He knew Cordelia could more than hold her own and she still kept him sane: They kept each other sane. They made their way silently across the waste field. The town looked small ahead and again the same barrage of questions would be asked and each time they both prayed for the right answers.  
  
The town reminded Cordelia of a spaghetti western. All sandy roads and wooden houses. They walked into the first building that looked like an inn but didn't receive the stares that usually accompanied them.  
  
"We're looking for a room for a few days." The innkeeper looked at them, not the first strangers he had seen.  
  
"Yeah one up stairs. It's $40 a night and ma wife cooks you breakfast in th' morning but she won't make ya beds for ya."  
  
Angel agreed, relieved that the money was in dollars for once and not some weird currency that they had never heard of and Angel had to try explain that dollar were better than their own. The room was a fair size, not that they carried much, the bed was a double one but that never bothered them anymore plus a double was usually cheaper than two singles. The curse on his soul had expired three years before hand and left him open again. They were in some jungled world when Cordelia had the vision. They made love on the soft grasses hidden well into the trees. Paradise had a new meaning to him now. Their relationship had changed as they bonded to find their son but never once talked about it, just accepted it. It was comfort and love for both of them in their broken lives.  
  
"The sun's set. We'll go down stairs and ask around. The tavern should be filling up soon. You never know." Cordelia said, never really feeling it in her heart.  
  
Angel wordless left the room and headed downstairs. Cordelia was right; the crowd had grown. He headed back to the bartender.  
  
"You seen this man?" Angel cringed at himself sounding like some two- bit cop.  
  
"There's a guy in here, but he's got a beard and long hair. Same nose though." The tender muttered. "He's sittin' over there." The tender pointed to a man sitting in the shadows his back to the wall, an escape root on either side. "Comes in here regular like."  
  
"Know where he's staying?"  
  
"Yeah some house pout on the edge. Nobody bothers him out there. Young boy there as well. Don't talk much though."  
  
"Cordelia, go out to the house on the edge of town and have a look around. Guy says that a man like Holtz is living there with a young boy, might be Conner." He whispered into a mouthpiece just up from his chin. Cordelia had picked them up in a future dimension 4 years back and they had proved invaluable since.  
  
Angel slowly and stealth made his way over and sat down at the mans table.  
  
"Hello Holtz, long time no see." Angel said in a snide remark. "Been looking for you for a while." He tried to make a run for the door but Angel pinned his hand to the wooden table with a dagger. Holtz bit back his cry. "Now Holtz, we've known each other a long time. You tell me where my son is and I'll let you live and you will never come back to my dimension or I will kill you without a second thought.2  
  
"I don't have your son Angel. I wouldn't give him back to him if I did. Why should you be happy when I have lost my family?"  
  
Angel heard a crackling in his ear. "Ang…It's...delia…I've found Con…He's fine…knows me…Ang…" Cordelia was breaking up in his ear. "Ang…think the battery…low."  
  
"Cordelia, stay there I will come and get you. Turn it off to save the battery." He turned back to Holtz. "Well looks as if we've found Conner. I warn you Holtz, stay away."  
  
Instead of looking scared, Holtz smiled smugly. "You think that I would ever let you get your hands back on your son? I would rather kill him than let you get him back."  
  
It suddenly clicked to Angel what was wrong. He watched Holtz press a button on a small handset. "Tick tock Angel." He laughed.  
  
He was still laughing as Angel plunged the dagger through Holtz neck and fled the inn. He tried to reach Cordelia but she had done as he said and turned the headsets off. The sky was turning an indigo as he reached the ranshackled house.  
  
"Cordelia?" Angel desperately shouted. "Cordelia!" He watched as Cordelia appeared at a dirty window with a small boy who waved at him. He tried to shout out but it was too late as he watched an explosion turn the house to matchsticks. The grief quickly tore through him. It was all gone. He had them back now they were all gone again. His love and his son. There was no chance they had survived; nothing was left in the burning remains of the house just burnt cinders. He let them run through his fingers. It had happened. He had lost his humanity just like Cordelia had said he would. He lost it with their deaths. He had just hoped that their souls had made it. That was the only option to him. He stood away from the house and watched his first sunrise in nine years. His is where it would end. As the suns rays touched him, he felt his soul slowly leave, being called to them. They were waiting for him.  
  
Breath from deep within, test your will  
  
Draw upon your soul deeper still  
  
Falling into silence, swim towards warmth, touch the light try to break  
  
the grip that holds to tight  
  
Wait before your choice is not to choose  
  
1.1.1.2 Cinnamon waits for you  
  
*~*FIN*~* 


End file.
